Ahhh what a wonderful way to amuse myself...

Now I appreciate a good sarcastic comment. Ok scratch that I FREAKING LOVE THEM!They make my day worth getting out of bed for! I stumbled across this website that lists some funny one-liners. Below are a few of my favorites (I did not write any of these... although I really, really wish I would have.


Vegetarian: Native American definition for "lousy hunter".



1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.


Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.


A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.


I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle.


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.


We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.


Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?


I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.


I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."


With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.


To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.


What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.


Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.


Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.



I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.


Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.


Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.


I think, therefore I'm single.


Personally, I don't believe the world owes me a living, although for the amount I make, an apology would be nice.


I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

Things sure have changed since then...

It is really interesting to see where life will take us. The challenges we all will face the people that will come and go and the limitless things we will learn and see. Even thought we are taught to expect challenges losses or in some cases tragedies we all secretly hope that they won't happen to us. You also never know how you will react in a situation until you are in the middle of it. 

When I was hospitalized in 2007 for a large blood clot that went to my right lung causing irreversible damage and nearly killing me (several times). I spent 3 long weeks in the hospital and went through 6 surgeries/procedures before I was finally released to go home.

This was easily the hardest, scariest and most life changing thing that has/had happened to me. But besides these obvious emotional reaction to my situation I have a lot of fond memories of that time as well. I wouldn't be Samiee if I didn't right?

So instead of dwelling and being sad/angry about the things I have lost because of this situation I want to focus on the things I gained.

*A better understanding of the phrase "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." For reals it isn't worth stressing over things you can't control. Life is waaaay to short to waste your time on things and people that don't matter.

*Tell the people in your life how much they mean to you. Seriously, I knew I was loved and had lots of friends but I had no idea how much I meant to some people. This includes my family. When I wasn't doing so well I asked my Mom to have my brother in law come to give me a blessing. When he came he stayed and held my hand and cried with me. I have known him almost my entire life and I had never seen him cry before and the only sign of affection we had ever shared was calling each other names :). It meant a lot to me that he did this and I will always remember that.

*It's ok to cry when your scared. I didn't cry or freak out about my condition until my best friend Virginia came in the room and burst into tears. This is when I fell apart for the first time. I felt such relief. Everyone had put on such a brave face and didn't show me how scary this all was. So I felt like I had to do the same.

*Laughter is the best medicine. Thank God for my Dad. Now, he is a big tough guy on the outside but I know he was scared for me. That didn't keep him from cracking a few jokes and making me laugh. Also, exorbitant amounts of pain medications make a lot of things funny. Really,really funny. I started complaining to my mom that the tiny alligators where biting my ankles and I wanted them to stop. But they where so cute and little I just wanted to pet them but they kept biting me. My mom laughed about that for days.
One time a new nurse came to check on me and when she came into my room to have me sign some paperwork she took one look at me then at my ID bracelet and asked if I was old enough to sign my own consent forms. My dad thought that was hilarious. (Without make-up or my hair done I looked about 15)

*Pudding is amazing. There are like 3 things I would eat while I was in the hospital. One was the pudding. OH EM GEE!I could not get enough and it was the only thing that stayed down. The other 2 where crushed ice and Sherbet ice cream. I lost a lot of weight while in the hospital because I am such a picky eater and hospital food is NASTY! After a few days in the hospital and sending back my tray virtually un-touched the hospital nutritionist came to my room and wanted a list of things I would eat. They where willing to make me special meals just to get me to eat something. HAHA it was a REALLY short list. The nurses would bribe me with pudding and orange sherbet ice cream to get me to eat anything else. Ya, I was 25 when this all happened but you would have thought I was 8.

*My friends are ridiculous and amazing at the same time. One day while in the ICU at Utah Valley after surgery Shaun and Virginia where visiting, as they did almost daily, and Shaun spent the better part of an hour trying to convince me I needed to buy a Nintendo DS as soon as possible! I am not into video games at all, not even a little and it was hilarious how serious he was about me needing this DS.

*My family is just as ridiculous and even MORE amazing...... When I was first admitted to the hospital I asked my Mom to bring a few things from home. One was my blankie. Of course she did this but after a few days of being embarrassed by the fact her 25 year old daughter slept with a hot pink blanket that had tinker bell on it she went out and bought me a more "age appropriate" one.HAHAHA I still sleep with the blanket my Mom got for me.

These are just a few of the fond memories I have from this time in my life. I am just glad I have any at all! This was a totally scary time and things probably shouldn't have been enjoyable at all but these few funny tidbits really helped get me through it.

Celebrate your Awesome-ness!!!!

Last week was the anniversary of my "awesomeness" aka Birthday. Since I do not want to get another year older I changed it. I can do that it is my life so don't judge me! HAHAHAHA

It was a marvelous day! I slept in and then went to lunch with Vanessa! (She was in town doing some jewelry shows) We ate at the Cheesecake Factory in Murray and it was yummmmm! The waiter was really great too! He and a couple other guys sang to me and then insisted on getting a picture taken with me. (Vanessa has that evidence). I must say they made my day pretty special.

While eating our tasty treats the waiter came and asked if I was having a party or anything that night. I responded, "No, just going to hang out at home and watch Criminal Minds with my Mom." In hindsight I realize this was a bit lame and dorky and he prob felt sorry for me.Nessa thinks he was hinting he wanted an invite if there was a party.

Now, in case you are wondering, yes, I am completely clueless when it comes to being hit on (except when I have had a few drinks. For some reason I am completely tuned into men being interested in me when slightly inebriated... go figure).

In the moment I usually do not understand that is what is happening. I blame the fact that I am so straight forward. I do not speak in code. I am direct. Ness decided to help her friend out and tried to leave the waiter my tel#. Thankfully she was unable to do it because he was standing there chatting with me and she could not be discreet. Not gonna lie I would have been mortified had she left him my #. After lunch we went over to the mall and all afternoon she kept kicking herself for not leaving my #. HAHA
The rest of my "Day of Awesomeness" was great!! I am really really blessed for all of the awesome people I have in my life. And while I refuse to embrace the fact that I am now in my late 20's and a stones throw away from 30. I remain me! I still wear Vans shoes and band t-shirt to work,I eat cotton candy whenever I get the chance. 

Sunday I went with my whole family and Katie and her adorable little fam and we went up AF canyon to TibbleFork to cook some hot dogs. We sat on the shore of the reservoir and skipped rocks let the kids and the dogs play in the water and just hung out. It was FANTASTIC!! I could not imagine a better day!

Samiee sold here????

Since when did all relationships become a used car deal? When did we have to start convincing others that we are as good as we seem? That there is no fine print? and that despite our baggage and hangups we have unlimited mileage?

I for one am not a used car or a used car salesman. I am not talking anyone into liking, dis liking, believing in me or signing on any dotted line. You don't have to have a perfect credit score or a co-signer for this deal. Just understand that what you see is what you get. There is no run around, no games just me. Sold as is:) JD power and assoc have not given me any awards so don't start looking in my windows and asking for a test drive if you are still hung up on your current vehicle. Doing so will only deter any serious potential buyers. Hmmm the more I write the more I realize, "wow... I just may be a used car".......


If you don't like what I am then please move along obviously this is one ride you can't handle (no dirty innuendo intended) haha.

I have Techno JOY!!!!!

If you haven't checked out the stand up of Eddie Izzard I highly recommend it! He is the funniest tranny I have ever seen!


Anyway, as an early birthday present to me I bought the NOOK from Barnes and Noble!aka Edgar. I love it!!!!! There are so many amazing books avail for free or for less than I would have paid for them. PLUS the most appealing part is that I do not have to find somewhere to put the new books!! SCORE!

So after I bought Edgar I decided I needed to get a case to carry it in. After looking online I saw that they where a bit overpriced so I decided to go buy some fabric and sew one. Ya I know what your thinking... Samiee you don't sew. Well this is true I don't. Except for rag blankets for friends new babies.But I decided I would give it a whirl. I found some REALLY cute fabric at wal-mart came home and check out what I created!!! I do not mean to toot my own horn but DAMN I did an awesome job! No pattern either!!!

This is my Nook and its new case!!

So in summation I love my new Nook and I will prob be even more of a book nerd than I already am!!! The first book I am reading is "The Help" by Kathryn Stokett. so far I am really enjoying it!!

Thank you for being a friend............

Why the hell do all my friends move away? WTF? For reals...  I don't like it so  knock it off! Stay here so we can continue our outrageous antics! For hells sakes!

OK done with that little outburst. In all honesty I do not like that some of my closest friends usually end up moving away. I am beginning to get a complex about it! (no I am not... OK yes I am.)

Vanessa moved to Vegas and now is settled in Indiana. Shaun and Virginia moved to Cali. Mark and Kathy moved to Logan,Vickianna moved to North Carolina. Morgan joined the navy and is currently in Japan.... and now Sarah is moving to England! Seriously people?? Can't we all just stay in one friggin place????  The ONLY  upside is that I have cool places to visit.....

Thank heavens for technology! Without Facebook, blogging, texting, blogging etc.  I would never get to keep up with my friends that are scattered WORLDWIDE! Although, I would trade in all that technology ANY DAY to have them all here with me all the time!

I am grateful for those awesome friends I have that have stayed in the area otherwise I would be a seriously lonely girl! I also am sooo blessed to have an assortment of pals, friends, buddies, gals...etc. that range in ALL ages! This is def. because of my wide array of interests. I mean how many gals do you know that LOVE LOVE LOVE make-up, hair, nails, reading, kicking, throwing, punching, choking people, fishing, hiking, shooting, horseback riding, yoga, tattoos, camping, four wheeling, art, flowers, dogs, shopping, drinking, dancing... and I am sure there are other things that I love that I can't think of right now... so ya I know a few people. Also, living in the same town for 99% of my life also means I know a few people.

I think that before I make any new friends there are going to be a couple pre-requisites.
 1) No moving away! You must stay withing a 100 mile radius.
 2) No marrying someone that is gonna make you move. (OK that isn't fair but it is more of an I have my fingers crossed and hope that doesn't happen but if this person is your "soul mate" who am I to interfere?) Guess that means I will have to get a credit card with air miles *sigh*
 3) If you are male... please do not assume I am in love with you. Just because you are male and I am female and we hang out a lot doesn't mean I am in love with you. Like you? YES... Love Love? Prob not. If I did you would not wonder... you would KNOW!

I Ain't 'fraid of No Ghost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So last night (Saturday) I went over to my friend Katie's new boutique that is in the historic Lehi Hotel. Awesome right? Exactly! So... Saturday night Katie txt's me and asks me to come and check out the store since they are just a few days from opening. So I went down. When I got there it was just Katie and her little girl Carlie and her baby boy Garrett. Katie showed me around at all the stuff they have for sale in there (good thing I left my wallet at home b/c I would have bought everything!) p.s. the boutique will open in the next few days and the Grand opening will be in Sept. Stay tuned for more on that.....

A few minutes later Katie's business partner came in and said that there where some ghost hunter people coming in to check the place out. We where kind of excited to see if they found anything! (but secretly hoping they didn't)

The ghost hunter peeps came in and walked around then went upstairs to do their thing. Me, Katie & her kids and Ashley waited downstairs. As the hunters came downstairs they told us that they had found something. They said there was a man in the far north corner room that was cheated out of some deal and in the next room there was a school teacher in her mid to late 40's hanging around. Just then baby Garrette laughed and they said, "Oh and she likes the baby." Up until that point Katie and I just thought this was all suspect. But that was a creepy statement. So we decided to go since it was getting late.

When I got to my house I txt Katie to see if she was OK since if I had just heard some ghost lady, real or not, said she liked my baby I would be trippin! PLUS Katie's hubby was out of town. So I offered to come and stay with her.

Katie the kids and I where running a quick errand before going back to her place. We where talking about how weird this all is and what not. As we are driving Katie gets a txt from Ashley saying that the ghost hunter chic says a ghost followed me to the hotel. WTF?!?!?!!?!! I literally lost my breath!

I made Katie take me back to the hotel so I could talk to this lady and get the whole story. At this point I hadn't said 1 word to these people about who I am where I lived etc. they knew I was Samiee a friend of Katie's.

So when we arrived I got out of the car and went straight to them and said OK what's the deal who is this guy and what do you mean he follows me??

GH " Well this man followed you from your house."
Me "My house?"
GH "Ya, tell me about your house."
Me: "Um... what do you mean? It is just a house I live there with my family."
GH "Ya I know that, you have always lived there right? your parents bought it from a local family?"
Me : " Ya, they bought it over 30 years ago."
GH" From who?"
Me: "Well on my block a lot of the houses where built and owned by the same family. In fact this family owns and lives in all but 3 of the houses on my block. My parents bought it from that family in the late 70's."
GH "Hmmmm so this family is still in the area?"
Me: " Ya."

The conversation went on about how a lot of this family is in the area and they have been here for many years and while the ones I know are very nice wonderful people this guy isn't. She tells me that this man is very arrogant and feels "entitled". Apparently he feels like when my house was being built he was cheated in some way. He follows me because he thinks I am "interesting". She said he is a large man... or well thinks of himself as a big imposing guy so he can intimidate people and bully them. This gave me chills! This lady was telling me about my house and the people that live around me. Again, I hadn't said ANYTHING to them about myself. They had no idea who I was or where I was from. This chic also knew that I had just come back from a trip.......*insert twilight theme*

FANTASTIC!! Just what I need some self- entitled douche bag following me around!! At this point it is past midnight so I am freaking out! Here this woman who has never met me and tells me a conceded ghost man follows me around. I don't care if you scare easy or believe in this or not if you where in my shoes you would be trippin too!!!

At this point I bet Katie was reconsidering having me stay at her house!!! HAHA.

I was officially freaked out enough at this point and ready to go. Needless to say I didn't sleep well last night. It isn't easy to sleep when some random stranger tells you a ghost is following you around because he thinks your interesting. Well that's just great! Some living people think I am interesting and they don't follow me around... It's not like I am Paris Hilton or something.

Just and FYI- I am no longer "freaked out". I am not sure that all of this is even true and not sure that I believe it and I am definitely not interested in any kind of personal debate on the matter.